Tila Tequila quits Twitter, world peace achieved  

In what may be the first visible evidence of a functioning brain stem, reality ’star’ Tila Tequila has followed the lead of Chris Brown and Miley Cyrus, signed out of Twitter and left us in peace.

The 28-year former singer shuttered her account on the popular micro-blog site yesterday, after enduring a torrent of well-founded and entirely self-invoked criticism over her ‘pregnancy’ claims.

It all hit the fan in December: First she claimed she was acting as surrogate for her brother and his wife;

Next, the father was an Afghanistan war hero…whom she won’t name.

Then she began dropping infantile, self-serving hints that rapper, The Game, was the unfortunate cause of her [still unproven] condition. He denied it.

Already receiving incoming fire for abusing the network to publicly ‘mourn’ the loss of her ex, Casey Johnson, the additional criticism this adolescent campaign of fame-seeking teasing so rightly invoked proved too much – even for a fame-addict like her.

“Twitter, by far, has the most hateful, devil worshipers, racist, and violent community I have ever experienced!” read her last tweet. “Twitter is bad. My true fans know where to find me.”

Okay, so you three can leave at this point to go and console her.

Miley closed her account in October, while Chris deleted his blog in December. Those two we might miss. Tila? Not so much. I give it a month [at the most] before her seemingly insatiable need to be laughed at drives her to open another account.

Meantime, free Purel for everyone who has endured even hearing her name…